A Post Partum Family Vacation

I really wanted to title this blog post, “A Family Getaway” instead of “A Family Vacation” really because it was just that, a getaway. I literally picked up my little and comfortable life and dumped it in Florida. And yes added many different and complicated levels of stress. I ended up deciding that in the end, there were enough beautiful and golden moments that I could indeed deem it a vacation. 

This vacation involved my parents in law and a new baby. We met Philippe’s parents in Tampa and they were incredibly overcome with emotion to meet their grandson and come face to face with their now quite mature granddaughter. We then schlepped everyone and and an exorbitant amount of luggage in a rented mini-van that still wasn’t large enough for our needs. With excitement and joyous French conversation we made our way to our first destination of Sarasota, Florida. Philippe booked this amazing private cottage on Lido Key. It was walking distance to the beaches, to St. Armands Circle for shopping and great restaurants, and even had it’s very own pool. The four days we spent there together were the absolute best.

Everyday we woke up on our own time and ate breakfast outside together. We were on the beach by ten am, home and showered by one, and then were able to enjoy the grill that the rental provided. In the afternoons we would go on kid friendly excursions including the farmers market, the marina, the Mote Marine Aquarium, and window shopping in St. Armands Circle. Our favorite daily activity was to hit the authentic French bakery, C’est la Vie, and indulge in our chosen treat, mine being a chausson pomme, a unique take on the American apple turnover.

My little man was quite comfortable on the beach

Hanging out in the pool with grandma and grandpa

Ice cream in St. Armands Circle

Being silly with grandma at the Mote Marine Aquarium

Dinner with a view

All the boys enjoying their vacation

On the fourth of July it was unfortunately time to move to our next destination for the week which was Clearwater Beach, Florida. We decided to stop in St. Petersburg and enjoy the outdoors and charm of the city.

Random petting zoo

Ice cream pit stop!

Clearwater Beach was very different from the quiet environment we relished in Sarasota. There were alot more people and with that brought more noise, more traffic, and ocean water that was not quite as crystal clear as we had been enjoying. The condo we stayed in was amazing however. We certainly had the space with three bathrooms, three full bathrooms, a sprawling kitchen, and a large balcony overlooking the community pool and the bay. We literally saw dolphins every morning and at sunset.

We attempted to keep our same daily schedule by waking up at our leisure and then hitting the beach. The beach however was a much longer walk and even with a baby bjorn, the shoulder pain I experienced at the end of the day was similar to that pain of still being nine months pregnant. And somewhere along this trip, Teddy decided that he only wanted his mommy or he would let us hear him work those lungs of his. This was a shame because my in laws had come to really help us on this vacation and allow Philippe and I to recover from our sleep deprived lives. Unfortunately this would not be the case. I could not even enjoy a meal without him in my arms. To put him down meant we would all suffer from endless screams. I remember vividly one particular day when we were all in the process of having lunch and because it required cutting with a knife and hot food, I just sat there waiting to be rescued, waiting for someone to finish their meal and take over. And then it was like, "Okay who is ready for dessert?" I was literally like WTF. It was at that moment I realized that I better start asking for help rather than sit back and pretend like I am some amazing super mom that can handle it all without so much as three full hours of sleep at night. This is how Philippe captured me on the beach prior to me asking for help......

#shoulderpain

In the shade with baby

In the shade with grandpa

Breastfeeding

Reading AND breastfeeding

Pumping

Snacking and socializing

Breastfeeding

And..............breastfeeding again!

 

 

 

 

Needless to say, not much action happening in the water or out in the sun. Once I was able to assert myself, my days got alot better and I was able to enjoy not just my son but everyone in my family. I was really able to appreciate more just by watching them interact with one another as well.

I really set some high standards for myself when I envisioned this vacation. I knew going into this vacation that it would be tough to handle a new baby, a new vacation spot, and my parents in law at the same time. Throughout my pregnancy however I just kept telling myself that I could handle it. In fact, I convinced myself that I would be happy just being with my new baby all day everyday. I convinced myself that I wouldn't care if my body went to hell. I convinced myself that I would still shower daily and look decent even if it was just for my husband. So what a shock to realize that I convinced myself wrong in so many ways. How about not being able to go out in public for weeks due to a limp that resulted from pushing too hard during labor?  Or maybe I couldn't go out in public because I would drench thru my breastfeeding pads? The hardest thing to admit to myself was that I could not be happy all day everyday by just being with my baby. As much as my heart melts with every smile or coo, it just wasn't something that made me feel full. Instead it made me feel alone because I really pushed anyone away who wanted to help me. I figured that he and I were better off on our own and in the end I was terribly wrong. I needed my daughter for certain reasons, my husband for others, and a few girlfriends, all for support and for mini escapes.

Now that the dust has settled, there are no parents in law, or my parents around, and it is just my little family, I finally feel I can start off as not just a mom to my kids, but a new me as well. The responsibilities I have now taken on are both teriffying and gratifying at the same time. My next biggest challenge is putting my son in daycare prior to going back to school for my final semester. I am already dreading it as he has become quite a mommy's boy. What used to be annoying, I now love that he is so attached to me. He is my cuddle bug and definetly found his way in the bed with me quickly. Poor puppies were sent to their crates but this time it just feels right to have him with me. Most pediatric specialists and doctors would say "absolutely no co-sleeping", but I continue to do what feels right for him before I do what feels best for myself. And this little guy sure likes his mama and his mama's bed.

Anyways, back to the rest of our vacation. We took some beautiful daytrips from Clearwater Beach. One afternoon we went to Tarpon Springs, a sponge dock with alot of history which is pretty much run by Greek families.

Another outing was to St. Johns Pass in Madeira Beach. Philippe and I had been before without the kids and had been able to enjoy more adult activities like jet-skiing. This time around we definetly did more kid friendly things. I think Valentina's favorite was yet another ice cream parlor.

On to the worst excursion/aquarium of the trip which was none other than the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. This is the aquarium where the Disney Dolphin Tale movies were filmed. We were super excited to visit because we had prepared ourselves and Valentina to go by watching both films. Trust me, getting through these corny movies was hard enough but the aquarium was an even bigger disappointment. The whole place catered to the making of the movies and little, if any money went towards the up keep of those poor dolphins or other mammal actors. I was shocked to see that the dolphins spend pretty much the whole day being petted by people who are willing to pay $140.00 a pop for a photo opportunity. The aquarium they were in was so filthy that the poor man like me had to make out somewhat of their shape through the fungus infested tank glass. I don't even have a picture of that damn place because I was disgusted. Hands down, worst $250 on a museum entrance. EVER.

And finally my absolute favorite day on this vacation was on Anna Maria Island. We spent the morning on the beach and the water was absolutely amazing! It was shallow and clear which made me so much more comfortable. We followed our morning by roaming Main St. and grabbing lunch at an amazing restaurant which was at the very end of a pier. It literally felt like we were eating in the middle of the ocean. The place served the best fish and I was more than pleased with my fish and chips. The best moment by far had to be at this restaurant. Highlight: My mother in law excused herself to use the bathroom which was within viewing distance from our table. Our waitress approached us a few minutes later and said, "Excuse me but the woman sitting with you just went into the men's room, just thought you should know." I expected Philippe to get up and get his mom the hell out of there but instead he just laughed and said how great this was. With horror I watched as three or four men went in to that men's room behind her. Her expression when she came out was absolutely priceless. Our wonderful day was finished off with ice cream yet again and another walk down a gorgeous pier.

Lunch on the Anna Maria Island Pier restaurant

My mother in law trying to figure out the bathroom situation!

She always has to get some crazy color ice cream!

The very last day of our vacation was spent at the Florida Aquarium in Tampa before boarding our Southwest flight back to Chapel Hill. Can you see a trend here? Yes, this was the third aquarium we visited on our family vacation. Philippe loves water life and now so does my daughter. It is still growing on me but I can certainly appreciate a good aquarium and I love to see my husband and child in their element. We had been to this aquarium before and we love the fact that there is an outdoor water park for kids. What was even better is that we could eat at the adjoining restaurant and watch Valentina thoroughly enjoy herself.

Still wearing the shoulder killer!

And so our family vacation came to an end. We spent a few days in Chapel Hill with my parents in law before heading to Charlotte to spend some days with my parents. It was very hard to say good bye to his parents because we really do not know when we will see them again. Flights to France are so expensive and for four of us to go now seems almost impossible. The day of their flight we all got in the rented mini-van to see them off. Both Valentina and Edward were asleep when they got out in the departure lane. Philippe insisted we let Valentina sleep so it would be easier for her and really everyone. Boy were we wrong.....Valentina woke up 20 minutes later and looked around her to find that neither grandparent was seated next to her. "Where are grandma and grandpa?", she asked in a way that she knew the answer. We didn't have to even answer for her to start crying and say, "Why didn't you wake me up to say goodbye!" It was utterly heartbreaking and we all broke out in tears yet again.

I walk away from this trip feeling incredibly blessed that my child not only has two sets of grandparents still living but that have so much love for her. I learned that I too have two sets of parents who have my best interest at heart and would love me no matter what. I should have asked for help from them sooner because no one can do it all on their own and no one can carry the weight of a changing family dynamic on their shoulders. I also learned that I have an amazing husband who also serves as a partner and I need to damn well start using him as a partner in parenting. And lastly I learned that we needed a mini-van badly and so we bit the bullet and yes, we got one, a big one....

Up next is another family trip  with my parents. We are headed to Litchfield Beach and this time I am coming more emotionally prepared for sure.

Family Vacation OUTAKE:
We certainly saw our fair share of interesting people on Clearwater Beach. There was one guy on the beach that I wish I could have filmed because he was outrageous but that would have been incredibly rude. Instead I let Philippe photograph this one lady walking downtown as well as our reaction to her! Check out those buns!